Our lives need no judgement

a blog by Nahla Summers

I am one of those weird people that loves times of uncertainty.

The possibilities of where the world and my actions could take me. I am always keen to be in control of my life, as far as we are able to that is. It makes me considered in my planning and subsequently allows me to be pretty risk adverse through doing my research before hand. I guess that’s why I am a coach.

So when life suddenly changes I have a plan B, C and D in my back pocket.

Although for some people this constant change and variety of life is something to be fearful of. They enjoy the security of one place and choose not to travel and rather enjoy the comfort of home. That also is admirable. I have always been adventurous, no-one could stop that in me, being controlled be work, partners, friends, family to control your dreams, but I also appreciate that you can not make judgement on anyone’s life until you have walked in their shoes.

I call myself adventurous, some people call me ‘flighty’, a description I would class as less flattering and I guess that’s my point. Who are we or anyone to judge with negativity?

This brings me up to talk about children.

It is something that has come up a lot in recent weeks. People asking me if I have children, saddened for me in some way that I don’t. I can remember a few people saying to me when I became a foster carer, that they were so pleased I had, later implying in some way that I was a lesser person for not experiencing the commitment of children. I was somehow not complete without being a parent is their thoughts.

It is something I find strange to wish upon someone, to have children, just because that’s the choice they made and it changed their life. Just because I have traveled, I do not believe it is the path for every person. Peoples lives and stories are their own, the same as our parents were unable to teach their life lessons to their children, we can not do this for our peers either. The conditioning we encounter in life stops us so often and finding out who we are behind all of that is the one of the keys.

Either way, that’s my point, it’s just a judgement.

It makes no difference if we have children or not, if we own a house or not, if we marry or not, what our pasts were and what we plan for in our dreams, they are our lives, you do not need to conform to someone elses or the masses expectations.

I don’t believe we should follow a path that someone else thinks we should, walk your path and hold your head up high. The hardest thing on the journey is to find out who you truly are, we dwell too much on the past, we worry about the future and then we make plans that judgement and fear ends up stopping us from completing. Those that judge our pasts and even our future should be silent in their judgments, instead spend time to reflect on why they feel it OK to judge.

Make plans, face your fear and most of all, just be you, whoever that is.
You are amazing.

 

 

Nahla Summers is a life coach, speaker, founder of Sunshine People and author of 44 rays of Sunshine.
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